DAY THREE :D
Page 1 of 1
DAY THREE :D
Joke 1
I bumped into an old school friend today. He started showing off, talking about his well paid job and expensive sports car.
Then he pulled out a photo of his wife and said, "She's beautiful, isn't she?"
I said, "If you think she's gorgeous, you should see my girlfriend."
He said, "Why? Is she a stunner?"
I said, "No, she's an optician."
Joke 2
My dad was Speeding down the road and got pulled over by a policeman he muttered the word twat. So i said whats a twat daddy? He replied just another name for a policeman son.
When we got home i walked in and mum was cutting in to a turkey and she cut herself and yelled the word fuck. So i said what does fuck mean mummy?
She said just another word for cutting the turkey son.
Then i walked upstairs to see my father shaving and he cut himself and yelled bollocks. So i said what does bollocks mean daddy?
And he said just another word for shaving son.
Then there was a knock at the door, it was the policeman. So i said hello twat mums inside fucking the turkey and dads upstairs shaving his bollocks.
Joke 3
paddy says to mick, "iam thinking of divorcing the wife, she has,nt spoke to me in over 4 months". mike replies , "you best think it over very carefully paddy women like that are hard to find."
Joke 4
I had a happy childhood. My dad would put me inside a tyre and then roll me down a hill - yes they were good years...
Joke 5
My wife grabbed my new phone & shouted "You're obsessed with this bloody thing. It gets more attention than me, I'm gonna throw it against the bloody wall!"
"Wait!" I shouted "At least let me put it in flight mode first"
I bumped into an old school friend today. He started showing off, talking about his well paid job and expensive sports car.
Then he pulled out a photo of his wife and said, "She's beautiful, isn't she?"
I said, "If you think she's gorgeous, you should see my girlfriend."
He said, "Why? Is she a stunner?"
I said, "No, she's an optician."
Joke 2
My dad was Speeding down the road and got pulled over by a policeman he muttered the word twat. So i said whats a twat daddy? He replied just another name for a policeman son.
When we got home i walked in and mum was cutting in to a turkey and she cut herself and yelled the word fuck. So i said what does fuck mean mummy?
She said just another word for cutting the turkey son.
Then i walked upstairs to see my father shaving and he cut himself and yelled bollocks. So i said what does bollocks mean daddy?
And he said just another word for shaving son.
Then there was a knock at the door, it was the policeman. So i said hello twat mums inside fucking the turkey and dads upstairs shaving his bollocks.
Joke 3
paddy says to mick, "iam thinking of divorcing the wife, she has,nt spoke to me in over 4 months". mike replies , "you best think it over very carefully paddy women like that are hard to find."
Joke 4
I had a happy childhood. My dad would put me inside a tyre and then roll me down a hill - yes they were good years...
Joke 5
My wife grabbed my new phone & shouted "You're obsessed with this bloody thing. It gets more attention than me, I'm gonna throw it against the bloody wall!"
"Wait!" I shouted "At least let me put it in flight mode first"
GLR xGlitch Itx- Posts : 45
Join date : 2012-08-14
Age : 32
Location : N. Ireland
Page 1 of 1
Permissions in this forum:
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
|
|